Depraved

My diet is draining on me. I have been deprived of chocolate for WAY too long. It's so bad that I have been reduced to turning to Internet Food Porn. I'm ashamed.



I sneak into the office....give a a quick look around...good...Dan is playing with the kids. I'll have a few euphoric moments to search the web and fantasize about chocolate cake. Then after I get a good tantalizing look, maybe I'll check out some brownie recipes. Mmmm.... That's hot.



Get a load of these babies!



1 box Duncan Hines chocolate cake mix
Bake as directed on box.
FILLING:
1 c. evaporated milk1 c. sugar24 lg. marshmallows1 (7 oz.) can Angel Flake coconut
Combine milk and sugar; add marshmallows and heat until melted. Add coconut. Pour over cake while hot.
TOPPING:
1 1/2 c. sugar1/2 c. evaporated milk1/2 c. butter1 1/2 c. chocolate chips1 c. pecans
Mix sugar, butter, and milk. Bring to a boil, add chips, stir until melted. Add nuts. Pour over cake. Just like an Almond Joy candy bar.




Chocolate Cake
stir together:
2 c. sugar
2 c. flour
Boil:
1 stick butter or margarine
1/4 c. cocoa
1 c. water
Add cocoa mixture to dry ingredients then add:
2 eggs
1/2 c. milk
1 t. vanilla
1 t. baking soda
Mix until well blended. Bake at 375 in a greased bundt pan for 30 minutes.
Penuche Frosting (from the Cake Mix Doctor Cookbook)
1 c. brown sugar
1 stick butter or margarine
cook over medium heat until well blended (2 mins), then add
1/4 c. whole milk
Bring to a boil and set it aside to cool slightly.
Pour over
2 c. powdered sugar
mix with an electric hand mixer until smooth and pour over cake while still warm. (If it hardens too much while working with it, you can heat it up again on the stove.)

Top of the Mornin' To Ya

Ahhh.... it's been a long time. My husband has thoroughly chastised me that I need to blog more. I guess he thinks it is good for me to express my "creative" side. I suppose he is right. What person shouldn't express themselves about I'm Not Fat Anymore Tattoos, Discussion On The Size of My Boobs, or the many wonders of my favorite word.

Yesterday was St. Patty's Day. A fun and much loved holiday of my husband that I have adopted and made my own. For me, growing up some odd mix of German, Scottish and mutt, St Patty's was nothing more than a day to pretend to love green and pinch people. I remember on St. Patrick's day that landed on a Sunday when I was very little. I was in my underwear, wandering around looking for my mother to put my dress on when my brothers spotted me. "NO GREEN!" they shouted and chased me down the hallway and shrieking. I still remember how much those pinches hurt (I'll make sure to tell my therapist) and you will never catch me on St Patrick's without the signature color.

We had a wonderful time yesterday. It just so happened that Dan had the day off so it really felt like a holiday. We ate corned beef and cabbage of course and I dabbled in a few new recipes. One was called Boxty, which is basically an Irish potato pancake served with Irish honey. The other one was a chocolate mashed potato cake for dessert. Sounds disgusting, right? It was delicious and will become a guaranteed tradition from now on.

I love looking up traditional cuisine from our heritage. Neither side of our families really sent down many recipes from our ancestors. I would love to know how to make a killer sauerbraten adn spaetzle from my roots in Germany or make yummy tamales from Dan's grandmother. Ok, maybe not from that mean old lady, but maybe her mother. :) But I dabble and I try to learn.

We don't normally celebrate at our house with my family, but due to certain circumstances, that's what we did this year. And I truly enjoyed preparing the meal myself and making the day special for my family.

Now back to Weight Watchers I go to moan and wail as I step upon that scale this week.


Éireann go Brách

I love my bed

Ah....my bed....finally. I never thought I would miss that uncomfortable cheap old matress we bought when we were newly married and poor. But it felt like bliss these last few nights.

We had a wonderful trip. We stopped in San Jose for a few days to visit with my brother, Robby, his wife Stacy and my nephews Alex and Zech. It was a great time. Our kids miss each other so much since they moved away. It was loud and chaotic but a blast.

Dan and I were able to convince Rob and Stacy to brave the trek over to San Francisco with all the kidlets. So we drove over to Oakland, hopped on the BART over to SF and then rode the trolley down to Fisherman's Warf. There we dined on clam chowder bread bowls which were disappointingly bland. Oh well, a reason to return in the future.

After San Jose we journeyed up to Portland and crashed with my Aunt just long enough to recuperate after the 12 hour drive. We were only a few hours from Portland when we realized our rental had a built in DVD player. SCORE. Then we rapidly made a trip to Target to stock up on movies for the kids. If I hear Barbie's Princess and the Pauper one more time I will puke by the way.

After a quick rest in Portland we made it up to Vancouver where I visited with my good pal Shana and her family. I just wish we had more time with them. The visits are just never long enough. There I stocked up on Oreo cookies (the Canadian ones are SO much better) and Purdy's chocolate. I introduced Dan to the best fish and chips in the world and attempted to get him to try poutine. But he wouldn't even taste it. I think the only thing appealing to him about it was that it just SOUNDED dirty.

On our way back down, we stopped again in Portland and wisked my Aunt over to Seaside, OR for the day. This is a cheesy little beach town that I grew up visiting every summer as a child. When I was a child, we stayed in a motel with the best, enormous swimming pool I had ever seen. Boy was I in shock when we walked by a couple years ago and realized that the pool was quite rinky dink and the motel was pretty run down. Ah, through they eyes of a child....

This trip, we did the classic Seaside things. We bought salt water taffy, played skeeball in the arcade rode the bumper cars - which was HILARIOUS with the kids. Man, kids do make things so much more fun. Then Gingers Mom made the classic mistake of forgetting that she is in fact old now and decided it was a fantastic idea to ride the Tilt A Whirl right before lunch. It was horrible. It spun so hard I thought my teeth were going to fly out of my mouth....or something else. It tried to giggle so that Stinky, who was sitting right next to me wouldn't get frightened, but really I was trying not to shower him with vomit. I have never felt so old and pathetic.

We walked over to Norma's after that. This is one of my favorte places in the world. Famous for the best clam chowder ever and a FABULOUS shrimp cocktail. I was DETERMINED to still have my lunch. So a quick visit to the bathroom and I was raring to go. I know that sounds awful and disgusting, but I will do anything for that DAMN clam chowder. Trust me....

Reluctantly, we piled back into the minivan and headed towards home. The kids really were great. I could not have asked for more from them. Of course there was bickering and some "He's touching me!". But all in all they were troopers. Vincent admittedly turned into the classic middle child and did EVERYTING in his power on the home stretch to annoy each and everyone of us. Of course, especially his sister. Why can one find such pure GLEE in irritating one's sister? And why is saying the word "booger" over and over and over again so much fun? And why does listening to one's little brother say booger over and over and over again require you to shriek like you are on fire?

Having said that, it was a wonderful family trip and I hope that my kids will look back on these adventures with the great fondness that I do about my roadtrips as a child. (Aside from my brother Kevin, poking me getting in my face claiming "Free space!")

There Goes a Mouse on a Motorcycle

It has been a chilly May here in San Diego. So chilly in fact that I nice pot of bean soup and fresh baked cornbread sounded divine! So I whipped up a pot for my family and we had a nice meal with my parents. We came home, tucked our little ones into bed and snuggled in to watch the season finale of 24.

As it was over, we turned the light off and Dan threw his arm over me and we nestled in for the night. Little did we know the terror that lied ahead.

The rumbling began.

The churning.

Then came one loud explosion.

Then the smell....

The terrifying, horrific smell.

You'd think it was just a man thing, but it was coming from both sides of the bed.

It is amazing after 6 years of marriage how unembarrassed you become by such grossness.

We were like some disgusting toilet themed musical band playing in perfect rhythm.

But then my husband with great exuberance brought forth an AMAZING grand finale....

It was impressive in size and smell.

We both went cross eyed.

The he jumped out of bed, turned around and showed me....there was a hole blown out in the back of his underwear.

That bean soup is nuclear.

I think it should be outlawed.

At least in our bedroom.

And now for my favorite "farting" terms. Please feel free to share yours.

Bathtub Jacuzzi

Oops! I let fluffy of the leash.

Chinese barking spiders

Fermented revenge

Gassius Assius

Blowing Ye Butt Trumpet

The Great Brown Cloud