I want a Cheeseburger really bad.

There is no reason for the title of this post except that it is very very true.


And now for another post about my boobs. Run away boys, unless you're really that interested.

Yesterday I did a wonderful...marvelous...exhilerating thing. I finally....after 4 1/2 years threw away my nursing bras!! Yippee! Hooray! This is a cause for celebration. Good riddance you ugly, enormous, antithesis of sexiness. Enter in the era of Victoria's Secret!!

Smiling happy faces abound. I think I hear angels singing!! The sweet sweet song of freedom. My breasts are crying out....yes! We will soon belong to only you, Gingers Mom. We can dress up in pretty pink satins, and sexy red lace!

I remember the first time I was pregnant and so excited to get this whole thing started. I started wearing a nursing bra in the last month of my pregnancy. I mock myself with disdain. Dan even thought they were nifty at first...with the little trap doors.

Now I stare at the pile and contemplate having a bra burning.

You other moms know.

Freedom from those contraptions is bliss.

And that bliss is finally mine, after so so long.

Too bad my boobs will be small and sagging to my navel. Oh well...that's what a push up is for, right?

For the Ladies

Alright, male readers...this post is NOT for you. Do yourself a favor and scram. You don't want to read about this. Go ahead...click on Next Blog now while you have the chance. Scat.

Ok, now that THEY are gone us gals can chat. Brady as you know is now 10 months old. I am still breastfeeding. And I love it. I wanted to continue until he was at least a year and maybe a few months longer. Sometimes it makes me feel great like I have some sort of superpower and a special little secret between him and me. I love the way he gazes up and me and gives me a milky smile, or how he pats me with his chubby little hand, or the way he kneads me like a little kitten. Over the last few months we have been through long periods of thrush. He doesn't have it so bad, but I am in terrible pain.

My nipples are severely cracked, red, swollen, the skin is PEELING OFF. It is disgusting and I am dreading....DREADING nursing him. It is so bad that I am down to only nursing him at night for a short period and in the morning. It hurts to wear a bra. It hurts WORSE not to wear a bra. Let's just say our sex life is not exhilerating with this little problem lurking around. Dan has to fear getting smacked just for looking at them. I swear my nipples sting just from being seen.

My kids all have extremely fast metabolisms that require them to eat an extraordinary amount of calories to maintain and gain weight. I am feeding him tons of snacks and putting formula in with his solids. So I think he is doing OKAY on his calorie intake. But he WILL NOT take ANY liquids. I have tried bottles, sippys, regular cups. I have tried juice, formula, water, sugar water. The kid won't drink.

If it isn't a nipple...MY nipple...he won't touch it. I am at a loss. And I am reaching out to you ladies for advice (and to you men who seem to think you didn't need to run when I gave you the chance).

I don't know how to break the cycle. I am ready to give up breastfeeding. And I hate that. I really don't want to do that. But oh, my red cracked nipples! I can't take it!!

I have been treating them with anti-fungal, I took a difulcan pill, Brady is being treated with Nystatin. I've tried rubbing the breast milk into the nipple for treatment. Nothing is working. My doctor is a jerk who totally does not care. Bite me. Or here, let my germ infested nipple biter latch on to you until you bleed and see if you can conjure up some compassion.

I figure if I just jump ship and wean him, the problem will go away, he will get thirsty and eventually drink the formula. But I cry at the very thought. Yes, I may feel like a dairy cow sometimes (MOO!!!) but I am not ready to give it up. Maybe if I didn't know this was my last baby I would be more willing, but this is hard for me.

Have any of you experienced this? What did you do?