Backhanded Love

My little Brady has a big heart.  When he feels the love it just oozes out of him as though he will burst if it's not expressed and showered upon those around him.  (this goes for when he is in a bad mood to, mind you)  But it is something I admire about him.

So the other day I could see the delirium of love washing over him as he climbed onto my lap.  He started rubbing my leg with his sweaty little boy hand and gazed into my eyes.  (I'm telling you girls...you're in big trouble...)  He sighed a big sigh and said dreamily...  "Do you know who my favorite mommy is?"

I smiled, recognizing the little game we play.  "Is it me?"

He beamed and hugged me enthusiastically.

Then he leaned back, rubbed my leg again, and gazed into my eyes.  Then paused....looked down...looked back up to me and said.

"Um...I think you need to shave those."

Cool Program to Keep Me From Going Bonkers

As we all know I am not the world's best housekeeper.  It is always a battle just to keep my head above water and not get crushed under the avalanche of dirty laundry.  Dan is always telling me - you need to DELEGATE to the kids.  Ah, that magic word.  Delegate.  That might work in the military, my friend, but to these 3 little anarchists there is no such luck.  I find myself winding up into a tirade that none of them listen to while I end up doing all the chores anyway and they sit back, eating popcorn and snickering at mommy's meltdown. 
A friend of mine recently recommended a program to me called Accountable Kids.  I secretly mocked it for a while, but then took a peek after she swore to me it was life altering.  I've tried doing it all myself.  I've tried chore charts, sticker charts, marble jar rewards, grounding, threatening, screaming and all out war.  So far, my kids are perfectly irresponsible little hooligans.  (Whom I love and adore).  But I know how much I struggle with day to day maintenance and diligence and I worry often about passing on a legacy of disorganization and frustration. 
Accountable Kids has been very promising for our family.  It is for families of all kinds, normal to dysfunctional and all in between.  The appealing part to me is that it works very well for families with ADHD.  Keeping structure in our home is both imperative and nearly impossible.  Myself and my 2 kids with ADHD find structure comforting but very hard to maintain.  This sounds like a crazy infomercial, but truly this program is really working for us. 
My kids get up in the morning and do their "core chores" (the chores every member has to do because they are a member of our family) and I don't have to remind them....at least not a fraction as much.  After the first week of not running out the door screaming... "We're late....get in the car!!!!"   and driving up to the school for an emotional meltdown because we forgot our homework...AGAIN.... I was impressed. 
It basically goes like this.  There are core chores that you can personalize for each child and for your needs as a family.  For example...make bed, breakfast, brush teeth, homework....  They are broken into morning, afternoon and evening chores.  After each block of chores is completed they get to cash it in for  a "ticket."  Ah these tickets are strangely magical.  They seem to hold more value that even the money we dangle above their greedily little heads.  Tickets are exchanged for rewards.  Hot commodities in our house are "Screen time" (TV, video games, movies) and staying up late.  This has also been the most effective way I have found in limiting their time glued to the brain sucking TV.  For the first time in months, my kids have been creative, played together, used their toys! 
Beyond core chores there are Extra Chores.  These are the ones you are willing to pay for.  When my kids do an extra chore they earn a "Bonus Buck".  For us...to start... Bonus Bucks are worth 50 cents.  But it can be adjusted to what works for your family.  I will happily pay to have my dishwasher emptied and laundry put away and dog poop scooped.  And the kids happily will do it for me for these magical little cards.  For my kids, they also like to trade in bonus bucks for Tickets.  Sometimes we let them.  I love that this program is flexible to our needs. 
I am an all or nothing person.  So if I start a diet or a regimen of any sort and I veer from the path at all, I tend to give up.  This Accountable Kids program has really helped me because each day starts over new. 

The basic program is like this:

Each child has their own board with 5 pegs to hold cards.
1.  The first peg holds core chores that the child will go through in any order you choose.  When completed they flip that card over to the second peg that says "Finish".  The child earns a Ticket that can be traded for rewards.  They have the potential to earn 3 a day.

2.  Extra Chores - these are chores you are willing to pay for.  After they are completed your child earns a bonus buck that will be traded at the end of the week for money.

3.  Best Behavior Cards - these are awarded when you see positive behavior you are trying to encourage.  They can be used as tickets or put into a drawing at the end of the week for a prize.  We use them as tickets.  These are awarded sporadically and kids may not ask for them.

4.  Privilege Pass - this is used to eliminate negative behavior.  Target one negative behavior at a time (something that happens daily usually) and reward your child with a Privilege Pass.   They can be used to purchase special privileges that can’t be bought with regular tickets.  The privilege should be an incentive your child is willing to work for.  We haven’t used this yet.


5.  Special Date Card:  for each day that the child earns 3 tickets (completes the whole program that day) they earn a star on the date card.  After 10 stars the child earns a special date with a parent, grandparent, etc.  I love this because it promotes bonding time which sometimes we need as parents too!  It can be something big like going to a movie, or something simple like a 10 minute walk. 



I know this sounds too good to be true.  But I am thrilled with what it has done for our family.  There are certainly still challenges and we are currently working on the QUALITY of the work they are doing, but we are leaps and bounds where we were a month ago.  The house seems more peaceful and more creative.    On a scale of 1-5 (5 being the highest) I would rate this program a 5.  For real.  One of the main reasons is that it is structured but not overly strict.  It allows you to tailor it to your needs as a family.  Nothing worse that a parenting book or tool that makes you feel like a loser and have been doing it all wrong.  I take my parenting ideals and knowledge and apply it with the help of the structure this program provides. 
Check it out.  It's worth a look.

Randoms

We spent the weekend trying to survive Pukefest 2010 in the Ginger household.  We tried to take out the entire neighborhood with our creepy crud - and managed a couple friends.  But since  we have no neighbors and live a deserted GHETTO we only reached out and touched a few.  Poor Boo spent his 4th birthday in the ER.  Nothing says happy birthday  like squirting out both ends. 


Today Savannah came home from school with a tummy ache.  Mean heartless mommy that I am, told the assistant nurse that I thought she was faking it.  She did not seem amused.  So I went to get the little faker from school who had plastered the obligitory sad sad sicky pout on her face.  The head nurse was in the office by then.  She nodded at me with a knowing look on her face.  She's got Red's number.  "I didn't call you."  We have an understanding.  "Oh I know..." I said.  Here at home she is delightfully skipping around and singing.  Another point for team Red.


On another note, she decided to take a bath.  With tons and tons of bubbles.  I walked by and she had covered her head and face with bubbles to look grey haired and bearded.  She shouted out as I walked by, "I am George Washington's Wife!"  I am sure Martha is looking down on us and appreciating us so so very much.

Spring Break

Dear Elementary School,

Please take my children back.  My sanity is dangling by a very thin thread.  The children have sprouted devil horns and their heads are spinning full around.  It has become quite clear to me that exposure to me, their mother, is one that only breeds pure evil.  Please take them back so I can delight in them in the after school hours when they are tired from working all day and only mildly capable of overthrowing any semblance of control that I have over them.

Most sincerely,

Gingers Mom

And may I declare it with great joy that I am reminded that I am NOT called to homeschool.  Foolish Gingers Mom for ever giving that a moment of consideration.  And now let us rejoice that Spring Break is almost over.  Do you hear the angels singing?  I do believe the sun is shining, the birds chirping and the flowers blooming as all things praise God for the return of school....

Until the end of May.

Red-Isms

My parents visited us from the mainland.  And...shocker...Dan spent most of their 2 weeks here traveling or out to sea etc.  So for much of their visit they slept in my room and I roomied up with Red.  She was sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor and me in her bed.  As we were getting ready for bed one night,  I offered to  sleep on the couch in the living room so Red could have her own bed.

"No mom, you need to know what it is like to not have a TV in your room."

Does CPS remove children from homes for such deprivation?

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GingersMom:  Red, if you get any more beautiful the boys are gonna come after you and you'll have to beat them off with sticks.

Red:  YES!!!!

GingersMom:  Yes to the boys a'comin or yes to the sticks?

Red:  Both!!!

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Yesterday I was sitting mindlessly like tub of jello (As per usual), the kids outside playing when I heard Savannah shouting:

LINUS IS HAVING BABIES!!!  LOOK HE'S HAVING A BABY!

One might become alarmed to learn their neutered male dog is giving birth.  However, as one wise friend once told me...denial is key.  The best parenting advice ever...just pretend it's not happening.

Creative Spelling

Vincent is in Kindergarten.  They have a way of teaching them to write now called "Creative spelling".  It involves just writing down the letters you hear.  A "wing it" approach.

It is cute and I actually like it.  It makes for fun letters to Grandma and Poppa.  "I lv you.  Cm c me soon."  etc. 

Dan, love of my life, has his own version of creative spelling. 

Vincent and Brady are both big into learning how things are spelled.  So, now they ask us to give them words so they can try to spell it out. 

The other day we were in the car on the way home (from church, mind you).

Dan:  How do you spell  "Assume"?

Kids:  A...S....uh....  (much giggling from Dan)

Dan:  How do you spell "Ship"?

Kids:  S....h....i....(more giggling)

And his favorite of all

Dan:  Spell "Country"

Kids:  C.....u....n....t....r...y

He almost had to pull the car over for this one.

Only daddies get such satisfaction from having their kids sound out naughty words. 

Much eye rolling by Gingers Mom.....

Stuff Not About Naked Barbie

I have 2 boys. They are awesome in many many remarkable ways. As of late, my little one impresses me most with a particular skill. Cockroach killer.

Brady is 3 and the best cockroach killer around. He has a masterful approach and technique.

I'm not exactly sure why, but it requires Vincent's shoes...knee and elbow pads...and a helmet. Then he will proudly puff out his chest, saunter over to me and pat me on the shoulder. With a pitying look on his face he says....

"It's ok mommy....I kill the cockarochies."

I feel so safe and proud as charges out into the dangers of the patio to save me from the world's evils. My hero.

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Vincent is 5. He is afraid of girls. Now when I ask him if he wants to go on a date with Mommy he freaks out and says he is scared. Terrified he will be asked to "kiss" at the end of the date. God forbid. This is the same child that will cry hysterically if I forget to hug and kiss him goodnight.

A few weeks ago we took the kids to see Princess and the Frog with a few other neighborhood kids. One was an adorable blond, blue eyed 5 year old girl named Kate. As we were walking through the mall after the movie, Kate looks at Vincent with quiet determination and grabs his hand. My poor, sweet, pale skinned Vincent turned red over his entire body. Walking ahead of me I noticed his elbows, the backs of his legs, his WHOLE body was flushed with embarrassment. He looked back at me desperately and stretched out his other clammy pink hand and reached for me. It was hard...so so hard...not to point and laugh at him. (Yes. I realize that makes me a bad mother.) But I attempted a very thinly veiled look of sympathy. Then he finally grabbed my hand and said "Mommy! I'm scared!"

And so it begins, son.

Kate had a scowl on her face at this point and tugs on Vincent's other hand. "Vincent...don't you go trying to hold your mommy's hand!"

Can't blame a girl there. I did have mercy on him and held on tight to his sweaty little fingers in a stand of solidarity. Momma's got your back. No worries. As long as we aren't having this issue in 15 years from now, I think we'll be ok.

Memories: They're Not What They Used to Be

Motherhood is not what I expected. I had a great childhood. One of those dreamy little lives that seemed akin the Cleavers. Granted, I have realized that people tend to remember things very different than their parents. I have sweet memories of decorating Christmas cookies with my brothers. My mom remembers the annual Schmidt family brawl. I remember going to my grandparents house for "Grandma-palooza" in the summer while my parents stayed home. I thought that they were so sad missing it all. Little did I know that they were having their own palooza of different kind. We both looked forward to it equally (Ok, let's be honest, they probably looked forward to it more than us) but saw things in very different perspectives.

So each day as I am serving the kids dinner, threatening their lives, giving them a bath, breaking up a fight, tucking them into bed, and teetering on the edge of my sanity as I look down at my wet, tattered, dirty clothes and mussed up hear and the tick in my left eye......I wonder. Are they remembering this the same way? Will they remember amongst all the yelling and discipline and downright mental breakdown of their mother the good things I manage to squeeze in there? Like the extra squirt of bath bubbles I add just to make sure they have enough to share. Or the fact I stayed up an hour late to make sure the right t-shirt they wanted to wear to school the next day made it into the dryer. Or giving them just ONE more cookie because I like they way they smirk when they ask.

Will they eventually turn around and say, "Thanks for not killing me, Mom for...." pouring an entire bottle of strawberry syrup on your new carpet? For running on the driveway in the front yard in your underwear yelling at your brother? For making a trip to the grocery store seem like I needed war paint? For asking the lady in the line at the store if she farted?

I can only hope. Get on my knees every day and pray that the Lord will glaze over the memories and let them remember me as a calm, cool, collected mommy. Ok, so that isn't going to happen. But maybe if I scrape together enough spare change, I can manage to hire a therapist that will convince them one day that hey...Mom wasn't so bad. That is if I am not locked in a padded cell by then.

Dogs v. children

Don't you just love it when some young new married person tells you they know exactly what you are going thru with your kid because...they have dogs?

You stand there in the middle of Walmart with your hair disheveled, clothes mussed up and a tick in your left eye...(because you have to admit your stupidity here: you came to Walmart with all three of your kids in tow) and dream about the the large blunt object you would like wield upon all the short loud people and then turn on the said idiotic new married person.

Yes. I can see how a little schnauzer could just bring you to your knees.

Dogs chew furniture, pee on the floor, maybe wake you up at night with their whining or scratching. They beg for food, needs baths on occasion and usually have bad smelling gas. Yes. These are all usually true and can be said for most children as well. I can see the similarity.

Talking back, sassing, lies, tattletales, hitting, spitting, stomping of the feet and turning blue in the face these are exactly why parenting is nothing like having a dog.

How many Labradors paint your dining table and chairs with Vagasil? How many chihuahuas squeeze an entire bottle of strawberry syrup on your newly laid living room carpet? How many chow chows yank off their poopy diaper and proceed to paint a lovely Picasso on your wall? When is the last time you saw a golden retriever ask a grocery clerk if they have "itchy itchy crabs"?

A whole world of adventure lies in wait for these young unsuspecting DINKS (double income no kids). I personally would like to pop a giant bowl of popcorn and have a nice glass of chardonnay (let's be honest here...a bottle) and sit back in an easy chair and watch when their first child is born and discovers the wonders of the bathroom medicine chest.

For now, I just smile and say..."Yes honey, dogs and kids are one and the same."

Update

My creative juices have dried up. My children have sucked every semi intelligent and witty thought from my brain and fed it to the dog. At least that is my theory. Either that or those brilliant and pithy ideas have ended up in the same place as all the missing socks.

If anyone happens to know where they can be found, you have hit the jackpot.

My husband does not believe me that the dryer eats the socks. But he is wrong. I know it. I believe that my dryer has gotten tired of cotton socks and has turned carnivorous. It now feasts on my brain as I do endless load of laundry.

Beware. Laundry WILL destroy your brain cells. That is reason enough for me to avoid it.

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We are in the process of packing up our house for the big move. We don't leave for Hawaii until March. But we have rented out our house and will be living with my parents for the next 4 months.

My kids are thrilled. It is similar to being told that you will be living at Disneyland. With endless cookies and bowls of candy.

They dream of dinners consisting of nothing but olives and marshmallows.

I am pretty sure that they are disappointed that Dan and I are actually going to be living there too.

We are the destroyers of all joy.

Bound and determined to taint their Grandma and Poppa - palooza.

I fear for our safety. They are going to be evil greedy over sugared monsters by the end. Have pity on me.

Life is a Tornado

Life as of late has been a wild, massive tornado. Everywhere I look there is twisting, turning, nauseating change and turmoil.

Some of the changes are good. Red has started first grade. Woot woot! Yeah for school!!! Stinky is in a new class at Preschool and is rocking it. His teachers actually seek us out to tell us how well behaved he has been. Never had THAT happen before.

The latest big shock wave is that we received our orders FINALLY. And we are moving to Hawaii. Go ahead...be jealous. Let the envy wash over you.

Done?

OK. So for most people the news sound WONDERFUL. Which on many levels it is. Lovely beaches, perfect weather, a "two year vacation on the Navy's dime." Right? And those are great things, don't get me wrong. But the actual logistics of it all? Horrendous.

Moving 3 kids and 2 dogs is going to be the death of me. The schools are terrible. There is a 6 month long process to get the dogs over there. Ubu our black lab is currently too fat to fly...seriously. So we are going on a diet.

The housing wait is 6+ months long. We could live in a hotel forever.

My bitching fest could go on forever, so I will pause. Not stop....pause. So be prepared for more whining and complaining in future posts.

I have been so distracted by the orders that I have been unable to maintain my blog but hope to catch up here now that I have a little more stability in my life.

The hardest and saddest part to me is leaving my family. (Dan's family???? SIONARA!!!!) The thought of taking my kids away from their grandparents is very slowly fracturing the very heart of me. I am so jealous of their relationship with Grandma and Poppa. Living a mile away and running over for "sneak attack" hugs and kisses, just to say goodnight. My kids have no idea the change that is ahead. And my very core aches at the thought. We are a close family and there is an incredibly tight bond there. So I know the next two years will be hard, but the relationship will remain close. But in the meantime, the change for us is going to be drastic. And I dread it.

But everyday I wake up, take a deep breath, put my head down and move forward into a new, unknown adventure for our future. It should be an interesting ride. Aloha.

How Much Longer????

I am counting down the days...hours...minutes...until the kids go back to school. I am giddy. Positively dancing with glee knowing that in a week, they will be back at school where they belong. Out of my hair! No more grocery shopping with all 3 kids, no more whining and bickering from the hours of 7:30 and 2:30!!!! Yeah!!!! I am a happy woman. Well...I will be. Come next Tuesday.

As for now, that is another story. Let me give you a small glimpse into what my summer has been like:

Yesterday I took the boys to get a haircut - photo to follow soon. Afterwards I decided to take them next door to the shoe store even though I was already overwrought. Stupid mommy moment.

I proceed to have the kids measured. All 3 have outgrown their shoes at once. Damn. I just bought new shoes LAST month. Of course they have nothing for the boys in their sizes so while I am trying shoes on Red, the boys begin to trash the joint. Shoes everywhere. Stinky actually started trying to tear down the racks of shoes. I was purple with frustration.

Temper tantrums in abundance!

Boo started having a fit because he found Lightning McQueen shoes 4 sizes too big and wanted them. Stinky laid on the floor in the checkout line and screamed.

Then he stood up, took off all his clothes except his shorts, threw them at me and proceeded to run about the store shrieking and laughing. I could NOT catch them. People pointed and laughed. Encouraged them even! As I ran and shouted and looked like an idiot who never should have been appointed children.

Red stood on the sidelines and coached them. "She's coming!!!" She would shout to them. And the giggles would head off in another direction.

I grabbed her and hollered like a lunatic at her as people tsk tsked at me for losing it.

Finally I was able to capture the littlest one and made Red hold him down.

I eventually caught Stinky and ranted all the way to the car about the beating to follow.

Thank you Jesus that summer is coming to a close. Can we skip this next year??

Sprouting

My kids are growing too fast. I hear it is an epidemic. Little ones going to bed one night and waking up full grown. It seems to be happening in our house. And oh how, most days, I really hate it.

Red is in her last week of Kindergarten. Soon she will be a first grader and in REAL school. School where they hunt you down and arrest you for not taking them kind of school. As if that wasn't bad enough, she has to go and lose her first tooth. Which was a wild ride of drama.
She came home from school and decided to eat a tortilla. Next thing you know she comes tearing into the room screaming and blood all over her face and the unsuspecting tortilla. Lots of screaming and begging not to touch it later, out pops a little baby tooth. So small and kind of disgusting. I remember that tooth growing in. I remember that tooth biting me and drawing blood while breastfeeding. I remember the sleepless nights because of that tooth. And still, I am sad to see it gone. And that little gap sitting in front is another reminder that I may wake up tomorrow and Red will be off in college.

On the other end of the spectrum we have little Boo who is well on his way of potty training. I can't imagine a life without diapers and a huge box of Kirkland brand wipes. I wouldn't even know how to clean half the messes in my house without those handy wipes. But here he is my littlest hooligan maneuvering his way through toddlerhood at an amazing speed while I just stand by and watch. However do you stop this? My once very quiet little baby is jabbering non stop and says new things every day. I can't believe how much he is talking now. How I miss the baby days that are becoming non-existent in our house. Another chapter creaking closed as I watch teary eyed.

At night as I tuck Red, Stinky and Boo into bed I tickle them and beg them to stop growing. JUST STOP!

Red puts her not so chubby little hands on my face and says, "I have to mom. I know you don't want me to, but I just have to grow up."

It's just too fast, love.

Giggles

This morning my 5 and 3 year olds and I were discussing bad dreams and monsters. A big concern in our house these days. We sing the Veggie Tale's song "God is bigger than the Boogie Man" song and it usually eases their little minds. Then I remind them that Jesus is in their hearts and always with them so they don't need to be scared.

Red: But mom, Jesus isn't bigger than the Boogie Man and the Monsters. (looking scared)

Mom: Well, honey, Jesus IS God. So of course he is bigger than the Boogie Man.

Red: (Giggling) Oh, I didn't know that. I just thought they work together.

Stinky: Jesus is bigger. But I am stronger than the monsters. I know the Kung Fu.

A day in the life

My middle son has a behavioral disorder. It still remains undiagnosed. We have several guesses on the table ranging from ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) to a sensory disorder, to adjustment disorder.

At this point I don't really care what it is called I just want him to be normal.

He's a wonderful boy. He's handsome, athletic, smart as a whip and very sweet. The problem is, you never when he is going to snap. Just when I think I have a handle on things, they go south again.

Nobody said parenting was easy. Yeah...but nobody told me it would be this hard.

Don't get me wrong, I love him. I love him so much it actually physically hurts. Some days this stuff rolls off me like water on a duck's back. Other days I just look at him and my heart clenches. Things are better than they were, but now I see we have so so so far to go.

I really debated sharing too much about this...airing laundry and all. But the truth is, this blog is about me...who I am...what my life is like. And not expressing this part of it isn't really expressing who I am.

My little man loves me. I know this. He tells me how pretty I am every single day. Over and over and over. It's like he contains these wild emotions and he so desperately has to share them. Good ones and bad. So when he is feeling loving, he feels it BIG. So much that it oozes out his pores. He wants to hug me constantly and share everything he has within himself. He will kiss me and compliment me like it is our last chance. It's like he aches inside to make sure that I know he loves me.

Ten minutes later he could be the exact opposite. The contrast is staggering. He is prone to violent outbursts. Just when I think I know what is causing them, the pattern changes. Or there is no pattern. It used to be concentrated on me. That was bad enough. He would infuriate me to the point where I would completely lose it. Screaming, shoving him into his room and shaking with anger and understanding how easy it would be to go too far. Then he would cry and run to me and we would hold each other weeping and confused. Other times, I would feel so broken I would lay on the floor and just let him hit me. How do you defend yourself against that - emotionally or physically?

In those moments, I wonder if he really does hate me. But I know he doesn't. I can sense his frustration all around him. I know it is something he fighting against. I know in those desperate moments when he hugs me so tight and says over and over and over, "I love you mommy", that those are his truest feelings.

Nowadays, his rages are less severe. But there is underlying anger still there and he lashes out at other children. Which to me is worse. The extreme violence has been tempered and now he just hits unprovoked. But it is short lived, generally.


I've come a long way. That giant gift wrapped box of guilt that they handed me the day he was born is just a little bit lighter. I've learned to get thicker skin when I am judged by strangers...or even people that I know. I've learned not to (always) crumple inside when I hear criticism of my parenting. I've learned that it really isn't my fault. And that was a tough one to let go. That one still creeps up on me if I am not careful. It slips through the cracks and I have to beat it back out again. I've learned that NOBODY could do a better job with him than Dan and me because God hand selected us to be his parents. And for some reason, he thought we were the ideal ones to guide him through this challenge in life.

I think I have been able to overcome the depression that I was sinking into. There are days where I have to fight tooth and nail against it. But most days, I grab onto my faith in the Lord with both hands and march forward into the mire.

I believe Stinky is special. I believe there is a purpose for him that is beyond the norm. I believe he will be an extraordinary man and a great joy in my life. He already does bring me joy. Lots of it. It's just that many times, the joy just doesn't outweigh the worry.

I hesitate here, before I publish this, thinking - how could a mom write these things about her son? But it is truth. It's my life. It's who I am. And also, I have spent hours, days even poring over other mom blogs of people experiencing the same things and it has been a source of comfort to me.

I love my son. And not a day has gone by, even at it's worst, that I haven't felt that way until it hurts.

Be Afraid

Never ask...

Mommy: Stinky, what does a pig say?

Stinky: Oink!!

Mommy: What does a bird say?

Stinky: Tweet tweet!!

Mommy: What does a dog say?

Stinky: Ruff Ruff!!

Mommy: What does a MOMMY say?

Stinky: Moo!!!

New Beginnings

I've been lazy about blogging lately. All my free time has gone from being an internet junkie to keeping busy with the new business. I sure am loving it though. I feel like I have something of my own...I am contributing to my family in a way that I haven't been able to do in a long while...and I am really having fun.

In other news, my little Red Beast is having her final day of preschool this week. She will have 2 weeks off and then off the kindergarten. My eyes well up every time I think of it. How am I grown up enough to have an elementary school kid?? When did that happen?

So this week is full of shopping for school supplies, new shoes the whole works. Dan is silently staring at his empty wallet trying not to grimace. But it should be fun. I LOVED shopping for school stuff. I hated the school part, but the new shoes and clothes and a fresh box of Crayolas? Hell yeah!

I remember being in first grade and I had my first pencil and used it until it was down to a tiny little nub because I was too scared and embarrassed to use the pencil sharpener. Introvert? You think?

What do you remember about starting school?

Little Treasures

Stinky and I were playing the name game. Can you guess the first name of your relatives. (Poppa's name, Grandma's name, Daddy's name etc.)

Gingers Mom: Stinky, what is mommy's name?

Stinky: Mommy.

GM: That's right. But what is my real name?

Stinky: Oh yeah....The Boss.

The other day Red climbed up on me for a cuddle. She laid her head down on my chest and was quiet for a long while.

Red: Mommy, your heart is going tap...tap...tap...

(she taps on my chest)

GM: That's right. My heart is pumping blood through my body and that is the sound it makes.

She ponders that for a moment.

Red: No...I think Jesus is trying to get out.

Two Introverts go to Kindergarten

Today, Dan took off work in the morning so that we could attend a class called "Jump Start to Literacy". It was a class for parents of incoming kindergartners and we were "strongly encouraged" to attend. Translated to: if you don't come we know your kid is a dum dum and we will keep her in kindergarten until she is 18. So we went.

There was alot of handouts and slides. I felt like I was back in school myself. I kept thinking about how uncomfortable my chair was and however did I make it through 17 years of school? Man am I glad it is my kids' turn and not me. Whew.

We learned alot about how to help Red learn how to read. The class was actually somewhat useful. Surprise. Armed with our new knowledge and confidence that our kid is a genius and we won't have to teach her anything because she will know how to read simply by carrying our super intelligent genes, we prepared to leave.

Alas, no we were not excused. We were then informed that the current kindergarten class would now come in and we get to use our newly learned techniques with these children....just to prove we were listening. Pop quiz for parenting??? This blows.

I love my kids. Adore them. Want to smother them with hugs and kisses kind of love. But kids....other kids freak me out. I don't know how to talk to them. I'm an introvert. It doesn't get turned off just because you are cute and small.

I looked at Dan. I don't want to do this. "You talk to it." He looks at me blankly. The smiling and timid little people are marched in and handed out to different parents. I keep hoping the kid will choose to sit next to Dan. He scooted over just in time for them to plop an adorable little girl with glasses right between us.

Nervously I look about. She looks smart. Good. Maybe she can teach us and we can just sit here and smile dumbly.

Which basically we did.

She sat down and we opened the book called Beach Things. We were supposed to just look at the pictures and talk about what we see. Before we could say anything, she starts flipping the pages and reading it so fast we couldn't get a word in edge wise. Silently I was relieved. She's so fast and smart I don't even have to think of anything to say.

At last, her teacher gathered her up and I heaved a sigh of relief. I lived to tell the tale of how I had to sit next to a kindergarten kid I don't know. And I used my uber-brilliance to help her read.

Good thing we have a genius like her at home. This is gonna be easy.