My Husband's Letter to Santa

Santa,


How are you? I am happy because I have been really good ALL YEAR. Really, all year. I had to put up with Kristin, so that should get me at least 4 or 5 presents. She was naughty. Give me her presents because I was good enough for two people. She also told Savannah that you were fake. I know better. She even tried to burn my face off.

I am going to have lots of goodies out for you and the reindeer. First, I'll have a 5 hour energy for you and the ponies. There will also be some home-made chocolate chip cookies I bought at the commisary. And, if you want to wash down those cookies into that bowl full of jelly with some hot cocoa you are in luck! There may be some Bailey's Irish creme in the medicine cabinet if you need to fight 'the sniffles' as well.

So, as stated, I've done my part. Here are some things I would be well pleased to receive as compensation-



2 jack stands (put under a car to keep it up)

a really really bright flashlight

a new backpack that doesn't have rips and tears in it
coal for Kristin's stocking

a brown suit for New Year's

Obama 2012 swag

that should be sufficient for now. There may be some other worthy ideas that I'll send in another mailing.

Most sincerely,

Daniel

Begrudgingly In....

Recently my dear friend, D challenged me to do this 30 Encouragement Challenge.  I have had this one chasing me for years and have managed to evade it until now.  I have been confronted head on, and this time I am up for the challenge.  Today is day 1 for me.  And I am pretty sure I have blown it already at 8:45 am.  But back up on the horse I shall go...  Are you up for the challenge?

http://30dayhusbandchallenge.blogspot.com/

Apparently, your husband and marriage will thank you.  If you are in, let me know and we will try to encourage one another.  (And for ONCE - not bitch about it.)  And since you won't be so busy nagging and haranguing - check out these links for some yummmer recipes!  Di's Daily Dish or Yummies

An oldie but goodie for Valentines Day

This is an old post, but fitting for V-Day.  (That's Valentines Day, not Vasectomy day.  But that was a day to celebrate too!)



Frankly, there are no other men I loved before other than my husband. Ok, ok so you are rolling your eyes right now, but I have to be honest, Dan is the ONLY man I was ever in love with. After reading this you may understand why and applaud me for jumping at the chance to marry Dan.

1. My very first date was with this very handsome guy named Bryan. He was 19 and I was 16. He met my horrible and intimidating brothers and never called again.

2. Boyfriend #1 was a friend of Dan's - who I dated AFTER dating Dan in highschool. Big mistake. Most people believe he is likely to be the next unibomber - either than or will turn into my gay neighbor Larry. My brothers hated him because he did not own 1 single pair of pants - when he went to the desert in the winter to visit his dad in prison, he had to borrow his little sister's pants.

3. Boyfriend #2 Jeff. A decent guy but we were an odd mix. I was the prim and proper pastor's daughter who loved to wear pink. He had long hair and wore torn Metallica tee shirts everywhere - including church. He barely graduated highschool and had no plans for the future - very unlike my goal oriented self, but I adored him anyway. My brothers hate HIM because they swore they saw him wear bicycle shorts one day - an unforgivable crime.

4. Boyfriend #3 Kent. He was my first serious boyfriend in college. He cried about everything. We went to go see A Walk In the Clouds on our first date and did not cry - he SOBBED. Then he looked over at me and said, "you're not crying?". He cried over everything - especially wheat fields.(He was from Montana and missed them so bad....ick) Does he need more of a reason for my brothers to hate him?

5. Boyfriend #4 Todd aka Comb Over Guy. Yes, he had a comb over. He was 24 at the time. He was also very short. I have no idea why I dated him. He had just broken up with a girl who was gorgeous. He told me I was not nearly as pretty. How is it short ugly guys get such great women? My brothers hated him purely for his comb over.

This was all before the time I was 20 years old and I was disillusioned to the world of men. And then...

6. Dan. My brothers like him. So I married him.

Life

Life has been busy for the Ginger clan lately. Brady is perpetually sick. He has been running a fever of 102 for 2 days now. Ick. He is also cutting what we believe is 6 teeth all at once. He hasn't had the best of luck. In a matter of 2 days he pulled himself up on Red's dresser and had it come crashing down on him, pulled our little TV off it's stand and had IT land on him and was face planted by Stinky and got a bloody nose. Poor kid. I think I am going to have to start bolting everything to the wall for his protection. Maybe even Stinky....

Dan was gone on a work trip for a week so the kids went out and found themselves some wild hairs. They have been crazy, fighting, whining, bickering it goes on and on. You know it is bad when Grandma even finds them unbearable. We pawned them off on the grandparents the other night because....DA DA DA DA!!!!!! It was the big V day.

Poor Dan handled it like a trooper. Not a single complaint. How many men can you say that about? I was more nervous than him. I tried my best not to show it, but I am loser like that and probably made him feel more anxious. As I sat in the waiting room for him and I realized that I was wishing that I had been the one to have the procedure instead of him (even though I squeezed 3 not so small human beings out of my HOO HA over the last 4 years). And it was a good dose of, "Man...I really love this guy." But when he walked out with his signature smirk on his face, relief washed over me and I was glad we decided to do this.

Although, in the waiting room before Dan was called in.there was the most ADORABLE newborn baby and I felt my uterus ache. I leaned over and whispered, "Oh, Dan! Look at that adorable little baby boy..." He just smiled fearfully and looked at me like I was crazy. The lady with the baby was there with her husband who was obviously there for the big V as well. She did not look nervous at all. In fact, she didn't even look up and say anything when they called her husband back. I guess her memories of a human head shooting out of her were just to fresh. LOL.

My family and friends are all taking bets that we get pregnant in the next 6 weeks. If it was going to happen to anyone, it would be us. So keep your fingers crossed. I am off to find Dan a pillow and blanket so he will be comfy on the couch for the next 6 weeks.

Birthday ROCKS

I had the most fabulous 22+8 birthday this weekend. On Friday night, I dressed up in a new slinky black dress and waited for my husband to come home so we could go to dinner. When he finally gets home, he has a big grin on his face and a big box. (Oooh...presents...early....this is a good way to start)
Giddy, I sat down and greedily tore open the package. Shoes. They were cute. I was slightly impressed, until I looked up and realized he wanted me to PUT ON these black, casual, ankle boots. (Keep in mind I was wearing a slinky, strapless dress.)

PANIC.

He wants me to wear these to dinner.

He looks so happy and proud of himself.

What do I tell him?

Maybe they won't fit.

Please don't fit. I really like my new black dress and I will look RIDICULOUS in these shoes.

"Try them on!" He begs, excitedly.

Gulp.

Here goes....

I slip one shoe on.

Whew...they ARE a little tight.

I go to try on the other boot.

Hmmmm, something is stuck in there.

I peek inside the shoe and see a small white box.

Slowly, and suspiciously I pull out the box...Dan is grinning...smirking really.

I pop open the box and see the most DAZZLING diamond earrings.

"These aren't real are they?" I blurt out. (I sure know how to ruin a moment)

Oh but they are. And they are GORGEOUS. And huge (which will embarrass my husband by my telling you that).

I am one spoiled rotten girl. And it feels great.

And thank GOD he didn't really expect me to wear the shoes.

Possibilities

One of the following happened yesterday that kept me from doing a Valentine's Day blog:

1. In my old age, I simply forgot.

2. I was swept away in an endless romance and could not make it to the computer through the piles of candy and flowers sent to me by countless lovers.

3. I spent the day covered in sugar, flour and children making cookies and candies. Then fell asleep with pink icing on the corner of my mouth so as to entice my husband with my ratty t-shirt and stained jeans and slippers.

Remember when Valentine's Day was actually romantic spent doing wonderful things like candlelit dinners, moonlight walks, slow dancing, romantic getaways? Maybe if I put romance on my day planner...(***Kristin, remember to be romantic tonight....take a shower at least, put on underwear that is not reminiscent of your grandmother)

In all honesty, in all the chaos we had a nice day. The kids had a great time making heart shaped cookies with me...licking the knife with every swipe of icing. (Remind me not to share these cookies with anyone...) Dan gave me a really thoughtful and ROMANTIC! gift. It was a really pretty journal with all kinds of sweet notes to me in it. I absolutely loved it.

Savannah made me a card at school, but then decided to give it to someone else. Hmph.

I also got a wonderful surprise in the mail from Carly. She sent me a birthday gift. It made my day. I wish my camera had batteries so that I could have taken a picture. It was a lovely card, an Aquarius magnet, and a chic lit book by Jennifer Weiner which I can't wait to read. Thanks, Carly!!

All in all a nice Valentine's Day. Even if we did just go to bed and watch TV. If you can't be away at some romantic hotel, being at home cuddled up in bed with some kiddie saliva cookies that were made with love ain't so bad.

Saturday Morning

It's a lazy Saturday morning. My eyes slide open just the tiniest bit and see the bright morning sun filtering in through the slats in the blind. Ah...morning. Oooh...better yet....no kids are in bed with us for once. I slide my foot over and rub my hubby's leg. Already it is a beautiful day. Hubby rolls over and and has a sly grin. He throws his arm over me and pulls me close for a lingering kiss. "Good Moooorning..." he says suggestively. I sigh, basking in the wonderful morning we are having...alone...then giggle flirtatiously and snuggle tighter.

Then I feel it. The tell tale shaking of the bed....and no, we're not doing it.

It's a child. Coming to get us. Suddenly, a Dora pantied bottom plops down on our HEADS. "Hey! That's my spot. Make room!" Red says as she shimmies her way in between our bodies. So much for romance.

"Let's watch Dora! Isn't that a great idea?" Red suggests.

"I had a better idea, " I mumble under my breath. Our plans foiled yet again.

I should just appreciate it. She's the best birth control we got.

Who Wears the Money Pants?

I am truly a 1950's wife at heart. (Except that I don't vacuum in pearls...or at all for that matter). I stay home, I make dinner (sometimes it isn't even a frozen dinner), I tidy the house (Yes, Dan I DO, I can hear you snickering...) and I haven't got a CLUE about our finances. I don't know how much money we make each month (even though it is even a matter of public record), I don't know where our investments are, I don't know how much our mortgage payment is. I DO know how to use a credit card and practice often.

I hide every month when Dan clicks open the "BUDGET" file on the computer, sneaking around the house like a ninja trying to avoid the "We're operating in the RED" talk. It makes me feel like a child outside the Principal's office. I am a spender....Dan is a saver. I am grateful for this and am please that I landed me a man that knows how to provide for me and my blissfully clueless ways.


Don't get me wrong. Dan doesn't try to keep this from me. He tries...actively...to get me involved and explain things to me. I glaze over and block it all out (not always intentionally) and start daydreaming about shopping at Nordstroms. I'll snap back to reality eventually and see Dan staring at me sternly and I bat my eyes and rub my hand up his thigh....that usually does the trick.


The other night hubby mentioned to me that he knows SO many different guys whose wives run the financial show. These women, whether career ladies or SAHM's like me, are wearing the pants and controlling the finances. Hey, if that works for you, MORE power to ya. I am happy settling into a more traditional role of ignorance. (And despite what my MIL LOVES to tell me... it IS, in fact, MY money too and I DO believe that I earn it as equally as my husband). I just don't really care to know what happens behind the scenes. It is so much less stressful.


Everyone has their own gifts and talents. Mine is not money. I am the official toilet scrubber, butt wiper, thigh rubber, and underwear folder of the family. I'm happy letting hubby wear the pants...I like dresses better anyway. I've got great legs.

Love

If it was physically possible to make love to a dessert, I think this would be the one. I made this last night just to get a bit of a chocolate fix and thought about clobbering my husband with a frying pan just so I could have his too. Too bad that lucky bastard eats quick. You must try this. It is super easy to make and the only thing you might regret is that you have fallen in an unnatural love with a dessert.

He sure is swell

I have a great husband. I just thought you should know. After he came home from Japan (completely exhausted and jet lagged) I have been crabby and not nice to him because I don't feel good. Yesterday I looked at him and said something along the lines of "After the kids are in bed you're gonna run to the store and find me something of the chocolate variety." He just smiled. "Ok". I know he hates running errands like this but he did it anyway. No questions asked. And the truth of the matter is he is almost always willing to do stuff like that, even if tired, just to make me happy. What a swell guy.
ALot of my friends say I should demand more time to myself, more things for myself. And in many ways I should try to get away more and have time for me. But when it comes down to it Dan really never says no to me. If I say I need time away, he finds a way to do that for me. If I say I feel fat in my clothes, he finds a way to get me new clothes - even when we don't have money. He's a really good husband who really does put my needs first. So even though I get bitter as he is skiing the slopes of Nagano or surfing the waves of Waikiki, when he gets home I know he'll listen when I need something for ME too. Anything from flying my best friend to see me (even though we can barely pay our bills) to running to the store when he is running on empty to find me a slice of chocolate cake.
Now I have to ask, is that love? Or it just fear of the inner beast that rears its ugly head monthly?

Lucky S.O.B.

I am home now, at 8 am after dragging my sorry behind down to the airport with 3 pajama clad children so I can drop my hubby off on yet another fun filled trip for the Navy. He is going to Japan and will be gone for a week. Oh but don't you worry about him, he has one maybe 2 days of work waiting for him there. The rest will be spent skiing in Nagano and visiting with our good friends Mike and Nicki who are currently living over there. (Stop by and say hello to them. They are self proclaimed "comment whores" and their blog is a fun read). I'm sure he'll come to his senses and realize most of that free time will be scouring the nation of Japan for something sparkly to bring home to his bitter wife.

And now for new business:

I have added a new link, Oh the Joys. She won an ROFL award and that is how I found her. And boy, she can really get you laughing.

I am also happy to say that Shana is up and posting again. After a 4 month hiatus. Before that she only posted 4 times or so. Come on girl, you can do it!!

I haven't done this in a while so here goes a comment of the week. The winner is...Kelly for commenting on my Foreboding? post:

"Uh...she looks like you."

That made me laugh out loud...and then get worried. Very worried.

Grump in the night

The lights are going out in the Cain house. It is quiet other than the slow and steady breathing of my new husband laying beside me. He sighs and drapes his arm over me and pulls me close. The house creaks and I hear rain dripping outside my window. My eyes are heavy and begin to droop. Finally I am asleep. Suddenly I hear frantic yelling. Dan had shot up in bed and was yelling the most hideous profanity, "She is a f#$$%$#ing @#$#@! She's a %&$# @$%&" This went on and on for a few moments. I sat there stunned, peeking out from under the blankets at my sweet and gentle husband sitting up and cursing some unknown woman. Then he laid back down, snuggled up to me and muttered "I love you" and was quietly snoring. It was just after our honeymoon and I began to think, who is this nut that I married? Little did I know that this was the first of many weird conversations we would have in the middle of the night.

My husband is a weirdo. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy to pieces. But there is just no getting around the fact that he is bizarre. During the day he is a clean cut, steady, handsome, straight as an arrow kinda guy. As soon as the lights go out and he falls asleep...you never know what you are gonna get. Yeah yeah, I know what you are thinking, but no. He will have entire conversations with you...and never remembers a thing...and most of the time he is so unlike himself. Not in bad ways, he's usually silly or odd. (and in case you are worried from the above story...NEVER violent or truly mean)

You'll be sleeping soundly and the next thing you know he rolls over, grabs on to you and demands to know where all the fortune cookies have gone.
When we were engaged, Dan was living in Great Lakes, IL and I was going to school in San Diego until about 11pm. When I got home from school I would call Dan every night and have a little chat. He was always so lovey dovey on the phone... He told me last night that he doesn't remember one single phone call. Hmmm... So sleeping Dan is romantic? Where did I put those sleeping pills....

Then when I was pregnant with Red and I was almost 2 weeks overdue, Dan rolled over one night and looked at me with a very stern voice, "You better have that baby. You better have that baby NOW. I'm getting an attorney!" He grabbed the blankets away from me and rolled over in a huff. "I MEAN IT!" Then was back to snuggling and snoring yet again.

On the flip side, if you need to talk to HIM while he is sleeping...good luck. When Red comes sneaking into bed with us at night, it is his job to put her back to her own room. I can try gentle nudging...nothing. Irritating poking....nothing. Shaking and talking loudly...nothing. The only thing that works is you have to be downright mean. I'm talking yelling and kicking at him under the blankets to get his attention. Then he wakes up and looks at you like you are a big monster..."Why are you yelling at me? Just ask me and I'll take her back." Gees!

So if you ever happen to be a house guest of ours, don't be alarmed if you find Dan frantically searching your room for a bag of potato chips, or having a conversation with the dog. He'll be fine in the morning.

Credit where credit is due

My husband is awesome. It's true. And the fact of the matter is I don't say it enough. On Sunday I left the kids with Dan and went to a Southern Living party and a friend's house who is the wife of someone Dan works with (Will). While I was at the party and all us gals were joking about our husbands and motherhood and the Navy and staring at extremely overpriced cookware and decorative pottery some touchy subjects came up.
The "who really has it harder" controversy between stay at home moms and the working dad. Now of COURSE we all know that us SAHM have it alot harder. (sheepish grin) But I got to have a little perspective into the life of the working dad via Will. He joked about how his wife at least gets naps during the day, can sleep in and wear pajamas until noon. But when it comes down to it, he said he did respect her for sacrificing and staying home with their daughter, but he has to deal with guilt of being away. All he wants is the acknowlegement that he works hard too and doesn't have it EASY. He works a full day and them comes home and has to hit the ground running.
Another friend of ours who also works with Dan was there as well, her name is Xandria. She stopped me before I left the party and said "I don't know if you know this or not, but Dan talks and thinks and worries about you and the kids all the time. I thought you might like to hear that." And I did.
It's easy as a SAHM to think my hubby is off enjoying the outside world and forgetting about me completely during the day. But he isn't, and that feels good. I went home and gave him a big hug and told him how much I appreciate him supporting our family the way he does.
So today I am going to put on my best 1950s wife impression, have a good home cooked meal waiting for him when he gets home, have him put up his feet and fix him a cocktail. Hee hee. Because I got a good man and I don't want him to think I forgot that.

Oblivious and Greedy = Mr. and Mrs. Cain

I make it easy for my husband. He asks me what I want for Christmas. I tell him. I usually find EXACTLY that under the tree. My husband's policy? Must. Not. Deviate. From. The. List. (His mother taught him that, she gets pissy if we don't get her the one and only thing she requests for Christmas) I like to spice it up and be surprised. This year I agreed that neither of us wanted anything. I lied.
So I am flipping through a brochure we got in the mail. There was a scratch off coupon for anywhere from 5-60% off when you make your purchase. Hubby has to buy his mom a gift from that store anyway so I cut it out and kept flipping. Then I decided ah heck...let's help him out a little and I started circling things I like with big hearts and smiley faces. It didn't end there. When he came home I pushed it gently towards him. When that didn't work I actually and literally shoved it in his face and said..."Oooh pretty...I LIKE this...."
What is on the kitchen table after he left for work? That damn brochure. Oh well. Good thing I have 25 more days to convince him...

Aw love....

Being Dan's big 30th birthday celebration this weekend I have been trying to gather together some pictures and mementos from his last 10 years. (He said he wanted to honor his 20s today and I was lucky to be there for it all). So I was looking back at our scrapbook from when we were dating...and so glad I did that back then. It is really fun to see all the things we did together. I found some poetry he gave me on one of our first Valentine's days together and I thought, much to his dismay, that I would share some with you. Hold onto your seats ladies...

Silly Time

I make you giggle

You make me laugh

I love your wiggle

The only word I can rhyme with laugh is giraffe

Endless

My love for you is endless

It goes on like the stars

It is as big as the biggest earthquake

It does not leave when the cows go home

it stays like a stain on your favorite outfit

it eats more and more

all consuming

Fulfilling

I feel complete when I'm with you

I know you feel the same as I do

Together we're a great team

You smile a sunbeam

You are my young filly

Gentle sweet as a lily

and never act like a runt

But like any great team

There's got to be a leader

Therefore serving is your duty

and I'll make the booty

You do all the housework

I'll be your Captain Kirk

Chocolate

Sometimes I feel inadequate

Next to something the same color as shit

When I have been bad

She always turns to it

The perfect mate

I loathe and hate

Forced on my every birth date

Oh heavens! It must be fate

The big winner is always chocolate

Happy birthday baby! You still make me weak in the knees.

The Crab and the 5 year old that lurk in my kitchen

I am a crab when I cook. I don't want people big or small under me feet. Unless you know what you are doing...get out of my way and let me get it done. My husband is a wonderful man. Most women would give their right arm for a man that would help in the kitchen. Oh well. Not me. God love him, he is always trying to help me. He has been complaining for a while now that I am a mean old crab and asks to help me all the time like 5 year old boy. So I have been working on it. Trying to lighten up and give him little tasks here and there that won't get in my way.
The other day I was baking a cake and I look over and there is Dan with a hopeful look on his face that says, "Can I help?". So I take a deep breath and say

K: Would you like to help me bake the cake?

D: OK (enthusiastically). Can I do it all? You could go and relax.

K: No. I really enjoy doing it, but I'll let you help. (this cake was for a friend and I didn't want him to mess it up since he has never baked before)

D: (sulking a little) OK....but I get to do the eggs!

It was like nails on a chalkboard to me, but I was able to get through the cake making process with his help. I told you I was a crab. I found it especially annoying at the time when he left to take care of one of the kids and hollered..."Don't do the eggs until I get back!". He really is adorable that big grown man with the heart of a 5 year old.
Since then I have discovered that I am fine with him cooking in the kitchen....as long as I am not there.

Romance

Ok, so I didn' t really explain the whole Buzz Lightyear thing. That's because I'm not really sure how. Dan has an interesting mind - very creative. It has taken me years to figure out his sense of romance, but I have definitely learned to appreciate it. Silliness is his highest form of love and romance. If he can be silly with you - it is a sign of great affection. Most women look for flowers and candlelit dinners. Although that is nice occasionally, here are a few things that my husband does for me that lets me know that he still loves me. Try not to swoon, ladies...

1. He calls me weird names like Boogie and Applemaggot. One of his original ideas of how to propose to me was to do it at the Padres game on the scoreboard "Marry me, Applemaggot."

2. He draws silly, bizarre and often dirty stick figure cartoons in all of my cards and notes rather than a mushy message.

3. When he feels extra mushy, he rubs my nose with his finger.

4. When he compliments me he follows it up with something perverse or teasing. He just can't stay serious too long.

5. When he is deployed, I send him love letters and homemade goodies. He sent me a video documentary of his ship. But to him, that was heartfelt romance.

6. When I am sick, he is irritatable and cranky. He just misses me.

7. When we go to the movies he lets me get popcorn even though he hates to do that. He's like that guy on the credit card commercial who is saving for retirement at the age of six...have you seen that one?

8. When he proposed he used Buzz Lightyear - because I liked that movie and it made the moment just a little bit silly...or more romantic in his eyes. I loved it.

9. He says he loves EVERY time we talk - at least twice. You can't go wrong there.

He's weird, but he's mine. I've learned to read between the lines, and I never have to doubt that this man loves me. Compliments and mushiness embarrass him and make him uncomfortable. The best way I can make him feel loved is to get up in the morning and pack him a lunch. Because to him, my pb&j just tastes better.

My heart was swept away....

Dan and I dated for 3 1/2 years before we got married...not by my choice let me tell you. Although, we met in high school and started really dating when we were 20, so we were babies looking back at it. It was torture at the time, knowing I loved him and wanting so bad to get married, but he was NO WHERE near ready. After about a year of dating, one of his friends (who was happily engaged) asked him in front of me if we were planning on getting married. Stunned, jaw dropped silence for about a minute and then the Ahh... Uh.... Ummm... started. It was very uncomfortable. And made me insanely angry - because we had just talked about it and decided we did in fact want to get married, in a few years. Dan - oh how he swept my heart away....
Fast forward another 2 years. Dan just graduated from college (a MUST on his To Do list of life before he got engaged) and we were down to the "shit or get off the pot"time and I was ready. Dan called me one night - very upset - and asked if I would come to his house. He had told his family that we were going to get married (we had even set a date at that point, but no true proposal) and they freaked out. When I got over there, it was an ambush. They really hate me and insisted that we hold off on getting married, if ever because Dan was on his way to flight school and I was going to ruin it. My only response to them was, "We would like your blessing, but we are not asking your permission." They said their blessing is something we will never have, so I took Dan with me and left. That was really hard. There was a lot more nasty said, but why drag that up and post it on my blog....at least until I am really mad at my mother in law and then I'll use it to rant. Anyway, I am proud of my husband today for making a stand becoming the man I always knew he was.
A few weeks later, June 10th, 2000, Dan proposed. I had a feeling it was coming. But he showed up at my house and said we were going to a party. Already I was mad. A party? When am I gonna get my damn proposal...after all this?!? Then he said, "Before we go, let's go down to La Jolla beach and walk around." Ok, so maybe this is it. We walked and sat on the beach and watched the sunset...in silence. Are you kidding me?? Toying with me?? When it was over, he said, "OK, let's go." I was pissed. We started walking up the hill towards the car and he started to complain that his leg hurt. I didn't care. I just wanted to leave. We came to "our fountain" - the place we sat on our first date and he suggested that we sit for a bit so he could rest his leg. I sat down angrily (Gosh I was a brat!). There were people everywhere, and some weird Mexican band playing crazy music. There was no way that super private Dan was going to do it now. Then he started acting all mushy and telling me how much he loved me, I just gave him half a smile. Then I looked down and taped to a Buzz Light Year toy was a gorgeous diamond ring. I smiled big. "Will you marry me?"

Of all the men I loved before

Ok , Carly, here ya go. Some stuff from my past...
Frankly, there are no other men I loved before other than my husband. Ok, ok so you are rolling your eyes right now, but I have to be honest, Dan is the ONLY man I was ever in love with. After reading this you may understand why and applaud me for jumping at the chance to marry Dan.
1. My very first date was with this very handsome guy named Bryan. He was 19 and I was 16. He met my horrible and intimidating brothers and never called again.
2. Boyfriend #1 was a friend of Dan's - who I dated AFTER dating Dan in highschool. Big mistake. Most people believe he is likely to be the next unibomber - either than or will turn into my gay neighbor Larry. My brothers hated him because he did not own 1 single pair of pants - when he went to the desert in the winter to visit his dad in prison, he had to borrow his little sister's pants.
3. Boyfriend #2 Jeff. A decent guy but we were an odd mix. I was the prim and proper pastor's daughter who loved to wear pink. He had long hair and wore torn Metallica tee shirts everywhere - including church. He barely graduated highschool and had no plans for the future - very unlike my goal oriented self, but I adored him anyway. My brothers hate HIM because they swore they saw him wear bicycle shorts one day - an unforgivable crime.
4. Boyfriend #3 Kent. He was my first serious boyfriend in college. He cried about everything. We went to go see A Walk In the Clouds on our first date and did not cry - he SOBBED. Then he looked over at me and said, "you're not crying?". He cried over everything - especially wheat fields.(He was from Montana and missed them so bad....ick) Does he need more of a reason for my brothers to hate him?
5. Boyfriend #4 Todd aka Comb Over Guy. Yes, he had a comb over. He was 24 at the time. He was also very short. I have no idea why I dated him. He had just broken up with a girl who was gorgeous. He told me I was not nearly as pretty. How is it short ugly guys get such great women? My brothers hated him purely for his comb over.
This was all before the time I was 20 years old and I was disillusioned to the world of men. And then...
6. Dan. My brothers like him. So I married him.

What's that smell? It's Stinky!

Meet Stinky. Also known as Vincent Christian Cain, my son. Or Dincent as Savannah calls him. He pretty much lives up to his nickname. This child can let some SERIOUS ones rip.
Many people seem offended that I would walk around calling my very own son, Stinky, but that just gives me more pleasure in doing it. Stinky is a unique little character, like most toddlers. He is incredibly charming, when he chooses to be. His smile could melt the heart of the toughest soul around. I fear the day that he discovers girls.
He is almost 16 months old and has had quite a life so far. He was born 9/23/2004 in a room full of women (me, my mom, my sister in law Tiffany, the nurse and the OB) and flirted with us all at moment one - and we were hooked. His dad was deployed at the time and missed the event. I think that is what started his initial love for women. For an entire year, he had no interest in men at all and even took quite a while to warm up to his daddy when he returned when Vincent was a month old.
Around his first birthday, Vincent had a bad accident with a cup of tea that landed him in the hospital for several days with a second degree burn over 10% of his body. He handled it like a trooper and was the heartthrob of the hospital. We were very lucky that none of his scars are permanent and he is just as adorable as always.
After that time, he started only liking men. (Probably because all the nurses who bandaged him were women and he hated that). His daddy went away for a few weeks right after, and he sobbed the entire time until he returned. Now they are the best buddies in the world. He has an amazing bond with his Poppa too. They play all kinds of games I am not privy to and could play and laugh together all day long. Grandma, Tia (Aunt Tiffany) and myself are all a little jealous.
He recently learned to growl at people from his sister. And has entered the land of no return - temper tantrums, at such a young age. He will go into the pantry, pick out a jar of food or a snack then climb in his chair and demand to be fed. He loves to wrestle, annoy his sister, dance with Boohbah (yuck!), yell "no!", and he just discovered how to pick his nose. We are proud. He is a little chatter box and astonishes me daily with the things he can say - already! He gives the greatest wet kisses and snuggles close to my neck when I hug him. You never have to guess if this kid loves you - he does. Stinky goes to sleep everynight like a champ. We sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star before I lay him in his crib, he giggles and grabs onto his sock monkey - George - and rolls over to then sleep all night long. It's wonderful. By morning I miss him and can't wait to hear him banging on the wall waiting to come out and play. Keep your eye on this one. He's gonna do something great one day. Well after all, he is the greatest little boy around, what else could I expect??