Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Creeped out
I am a big baby. I am twenty-ni....I mean, twenty-one and and I am still scared of the dark. What a wus. Now keep in mind, I live in a safe neighborhood, in a condo complex and have a security alarm. You would think this would be enough to give me peace of mind, but no. Every night that I spend here at home without Dan I have been having nightmares. And every little sound that I hear wakes me up and gives me the full on heeby jeebies. I wish that I could just grow up. It probably is aggrivated by my mass of hormones, because it does seem to be worse when I am pregnant - and Dan always seems to be GONE when I am pregnant. I wish I could just get past it. Dan thinks I am bizarre...but I just don't feel safe without him.
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6 comments:
I had bad dreams while I was away. And I have never had bad dreams before. You should try to explore them maybe. I wrote mine down so that I could. It helped.
Bad dreams are always stronger when you're preggies too. :)
Maybe Dan gone offers a chance for you...
I don't need a man to have peace. I'm not preaching. it's just that in 2002, after 9/11 I had horrible insomnia and didn't sleep for almost three months!
So, I learned something. I learned that I was being attacked. Even if you're pregnant, you have the right, by God to total peace. I mean, think of the baby - he/she is internalizing this fear.
What I do now: I tell Satan, and the spirit of fear, or the spirit of insomnia, whatever- to get out in the name of Jesus and by His blood. Then I read the word of God - it is like medicine - it totally works. I have slept in the homes of mentally ill people, since then, to be there to help. I've traveled all over the states, being invited into homes, staying in campgrounds, etc. Some places have funky spirits and sometimes I put the blood of Christ on the walls - using communcal wine.
it totally works. it sounds romantic to say you need your husband, but you don't. Every man I thought was so big and strong and would protect me ended up being a whimpering child beggin for my protection.
9/11- I knew we were in a spiritual war. You guys are under attack - Satan is against our warfare. We have more power with words and the Holy Spirit than on a physical battlefield. Women of the past did as much to win wars in the prayer closet.
I NEVER sleep well when my man is gone on business. It took me a while to get used to sleeping WITH someone, now I can't sleep without him. Fortunately, I have 4 little snuggle-bunnies that are more than happy to sleep on his side of the bed and we chat until we fall asleep whenever he is gone. Hang in there!!!
Gabrielle,
I do agree with you in many ways. I believe truly that God is the calm to all our fears and that we should go to him for that peace. On the other hand, God provided me with the husband that I have to be my protector, best friend, and companion. I think it is not only romantic, but practical that I would say that I need him and have trouble sleeping without him. He is the compliment to my very being. And I think that is in many ways how God intended a marriage relationship to be.
You're just a big baby. Get a night light. And you ARE bizarre.
Love you,
Kelly
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