We can do it

Monday, July 09, 2007

Irrational Fears

I have alot of irrational fears. Like my whole bird of paradise paranoia. I know that one is irrational. Or my fear of dairy nearing the expiration date. I have come to realize although icky, it might not actually kill me if I have a sip of milk that is going to expire one week from now.

However my irrational fears over bugs and rodents are live and well and currently living in my garage. Dan casually mentioned that he was going to run an errand over to his mother's house last night and encouraged me to forget about the laundry and just enjoy some quiet time. Instantly my suspicious hackles are up. Why are you going to your mother's house now?? Why should I relax?? He assured me all is well.

I sat there scowling most of that time, eyes darting about and conjuring up ideas of what MIL must have done NOW to cause my husband to dash over to her house in the dead of night. (OK, OK...it was 8pm...so it was the dead of dusk).
When Dan returned he was armed with rat poison. R-A-T poison. I almost vomited. Where are they? Where are they? WHERE ARE THEY???

Dan thinks they are in the crawl space above the garage. Ick. I feel like my skin is crawling. Dan actually had the nerve to balk when I told him I am no longer parking in the garage until the vermin are gone. Blech!

My loving husband kept making jokes about hearing the rats in the ceiling and making scratching sounds. I had nightmares all last night. I just know they are coming to get me. I just KNOW it. I kept dreaming that they ate my baby. They do that you know. People keep laughing at me when I say that, but it's true.

This morning I had to open the garage door to get the stroller out before I left to run my errands and drop the kids off at school. As I was grabbing the single stroller I realized my double stroller had been chewed on. CHEWED I said. I started screaming for second and then realize my kids are watching. I turned my back to them and bit my hand so as not to wail uncontrollably.

After dropping of my kids at school, Boo and I made a trip over to Home Depot to gather us some extra rat killing apparatus. I felt that skin crawling sensation just being in that aisle of store. The rats know I am here and are going to get angry. I was standing there looking bewildered and terrified when a clerk walked up and offered help. He only needed to say "breeding season" one time before I got woozy and almost passed out on the floor. He handed me some rat traps and walked away quickly.

I hope to GOD these things are gone soon. My husband would like his semi-sane wife back too I am sure. For now neurotic, twitchy, jumpy Gingers Mom has taken over.

What are your irrational fears?


Dr.John said...

Don't let the rats scare you. They won't attack. But they can make a mess. I am afraid of geese. I was chased by geese on our farm when I was a little kid. They are mean things.

MommyKnows said...

Come live with me ... I live in the only rat free zone in North America ... Alberta! Really it's true.

My irrational fear? Teenagers, they scare the shit out of me. I'd rather wrestle a female grizzly than walk down the halls of a high school.

AND, I know what you're thinking ... NO. I'M. NOT. A. DORK (and I wasn't in school) they just creep me out!

Gingers Mom said...

Dr John - I'm not so sure. Those rats look awfully scary to me...they could be ninja rats after all.

mommyknows - Alberta sounds mighty fine right about now. Teens scare me too...just the boys ones that are bound to come after my daughter one day.

Ms.L said...

Slugs scare me...*shudder*
I don't mind rats and mice actually. We had them as pets when we were kids so may be that's why...hope they bugger off soon!

Caro said...

You can laugh if you want to, but I'm scared of moths.

Pendullum said...