Please leave your answers in my comments or suggest one of your own! Have fun!
1. Move to Africa or have your dog run away
2. Have hair that doesn't stop growing and can't be cut or a unibrow that cannot be plucked
3. Fly when you fart or pee when you laugh
4. Call your mother because you were arrested for prostitution or call tech support because you were browsing porn sites at work and the porn pop ups on your computer won't go away.
5. Hit every red light for the rest of your life, or always be wrong
6. Miss your senior prom or miss an important flight
7. Have your eye fall out at random times or drool uncontrollably
8. Have cheesy porn music sound every time you enter a room or begin every sentence with "Scooby dooby doo"
9. Always wear wet socks or always wear wet underwear
10. Have needles for armhair or have fire shoot out your nose every time you said the word "The"
11. Have your parent-in-laws be able to see your every thought about them as if it were typed by a court room sceretary or dress like Richard Simmons for the rest of your life.