We can do it

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Big fat nothing

We had them over, the kids were marvelously charming. The food was fantastic and the conversation was pleasant. I waited....waited...
We served dessert. We sang happy birthday. The kids blew out the candles. They left shortly after. No. Presents. Not. One.

No cards for the kids.




I am furious. They have NEVER given their OWN grandchildren gifts for their birthdays. They expect a relationship with us and to see our kids but never dote on them at all. They give Dan a gift every year, but to no one else in our family. It's wrong. The kids are going to see this eventually and be hurt.

Dan says I am just not used to their kind of rejection.

I'm not.

My family is not like that.

I hope I never get used to it.



What's For Dinner? said...

Let's kick them in the mouth! That is bloody RUDE. It would be one thing if they didn't buy gifts for anyone, (if finances were an issue), but since I'm in the know and that isn't the issue it is just plain RUDE!!!!!

Jessia Snow said...


I'm speechless.

Shana, I'll help you kick them.

QueenieCarly said...

That is complete shit. And I'm sorry, but "Dan says I am just not used to their kind of rejection." So NOT okay. I don't think you should ever have to get used to anyone's kind of rejection. If it were me, I'd be refusing to see them and I'd be feeling thankful that I had a valid reason to do so. Seriously.

(And feeling as upet as I do after reading this, I can't even imagine how you are feeling! Deep breaths...)

Gingers Mom said...

I completely agree, Carly. Dan has been treated badly by his dad and grandmother all his life so he is used to it. It doesn't bother him anymore.
We are hoping to distance ourselves from them more and more.

Betty said...

I don't know what to say. That seems so unkind. A small gift usually for my grandkids they are so happy.

Mike, Nicki, and Josh said...

Sorry that you have to go through this all the time. Hey, in the future when your kidlets are older and if it's something that they have a hard time with, then just cut of communication. It seems like they've made their point and they won't change. Stay strong and have nice dreams of them taking a short short jump off a tall bridge. :) OK, that's pretty mean but, you get my drift.

Catch said...

As a Grandparent who so enjoys the look on my grandchildrens face when I give them gifts, I dont know what to say. And the fact that they only buy for your husband is a slap in the face to you and the kids. If they didnt buy for any of you it would be better than just buying for him. I can imagine your hurt. I would be polite to them for your husbands sake, but I wouldnt go out of my way for them. If he wanted them to have Christmas and birthday gifts then he could pick them out! If they are rejecting you then they must be rejecting the children too, since they dont buy for them either. How rude. And that would hurt. Im sorry they are so insensitive. You and the children do not deserve this treatment.

Weinraub Family said...

Well that is just plain bull shi*t. I feel so bad for your kids, and Dan for having to have grown up like that.

I am not a believer that being blood famiy gives you all kind of rights. I hate it when Alan's mom says that she is the grandmother, so she has rights to my kids. HELL NO. They have to earn love and respect from me and my kids if they want to be a part of our lives.

Hugs to you all

Christina_the_wench said...

Some parents are just bad grandparents. There I said it.

Dr.John said...

Your looking at this all wrong. Its your in laws who are losing out. I love giving my grandchildren gifts. They are always special moments. Your in laws never git them. What a cold life they must lead. Don't hate them. Feel sorry for them.

Gingers Mom said...

I don't hate them. Not really. I have a harder time not hating my husband's mother than these in laws. They have done some kind things for us over the years. Like help us buy our first house and we have yet to pay them back. We can't wait to get that money together so we can have that monkey off our back.

Betty - it really is sad. Some people don't know how wonderful a grandparent, or grandchild can really be. It is such a special relationship.

Jes and Shana - You kick em in the mouth, I'll go for the groin.

Catch - my husband keeps an emotional distance from him family that I have yet to learn. How sad he has to do that. How sad they don't enjoy being giving to such sweet little faces. Thanks.

Nicki - sometimes I dream of just cutting them off. They have done and said some really hurtful things. Luckliy we don't see them very often as it is.

You're right, Dr. John. They ARE losing out.

Christina - I'm glad you said it. You are right.

W Family - your MIL actually says they have RIGHTS to them? Do you not get along? That's terrible. My mom says she owns my kids and I just borrow them, but she is joking.

Ms.L said...

I don't even know what to say!

I don't think anybody should get used to rejection like that,sorry hubby.

ARG!!! I'm so mad and hurt for you!

Carolyn said...

Your in-laws suck!

And are you supposed to "get used" to "that kind" of rejection? Huh?

Gingers Mom said...

Carolyn - they do suck. Alot. But no, my husband doesn't think I need to get used to it. He just meant that is how his life has always been and it doesn't phase him anymore.