We can do it

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Sex Ed Drop Out


Dan and I had been married for 1 year and started talking about having a baby. I was pro, he was against it. He did want children, but he was in the throws of flight school and wanted to wait at least another 3 years. That did not go over well. I warned him that if that was the case we needed to get some serious counseling. I WILL NOT wait another 3 years to get pregnant. I was ready. Later that week, after I did not get my period, I took a pregnancy test. Negative. Damn!! The next day I got on a plane to visit my friend, Shana, who had just given birth to the most beautiful little girl, Caitlyn. My ovaries ached when I held that sweet baby girl. It was almost primal the yearn that I felt for a baby. I got angrier and angrier as I held her and longed for a baby of my own. I had never felt this way before.
A few days later I flew home. I was having an odd pain in my breast. It started on one side and then the other breast started hurting. I wondered if I had a lump I wasn't detecting. I was cramping like I was going to start my period and I had taken a pregnancy test so I knew that wasn't it.
I went to the doctor and she examined my breasts...said "Hmmmm..." and walked out. They took my blood and said nothing. I was freaking out...I have cancer don't I?? When she walked back in and said that I was pregnant I almost fell on the floor. The room was spinning. Could this possibly be true.

Doc: Is this a good thing?

Kristin (stunned): I don't know. I'll have to ask my husband.

I drove home with bottle of prenatals and brand new copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting and prayed all the way home. "Please don't let him say something stupid....Please don't let him say something stupid..."
Dan had a very important checkride (flight test) that day. He was so stressed about it and I debated lying to him. As I walked in, he glanced up from him book.

D: How did it go?"

K: Well, I'm pregnant.

(about 3 minutes of silence)

D: Oh. Well that didn't take long.

And from that moment on he was happy as could be and she has him wrapped around his little finger still. He did fail his checkride though.


Red was a little over a year old and I started getting antsy to have another baby. Dan, being responsible and rational, wanted to wait a little while. We decided that we would stop using birth control in January and start trying in February. I was so ready.
Then one night in January I rolled over in bed and had that pulling sensation in my belly. That sharp, tell tale pain...you moms know what I am talking about. I got up the next day, without a word to Dan and bought a pregnancy test. It's blue.
When Dan came home that night I let him sit down and tell me about his day. It was excruciating listening to it all. I wanted to just blurt out the news...so I did.

D: blah blah blah work work blah blah helicopters blah blah financial stuff blah blah

K: I'm pregnant!

(a familiar long silence)

D: Oh. I guess we don't need to try then.


Vincent was only 9 months old and having another baby was the FARTHEST thing from my mind. Going from 1 kid to 2 kids was a very strenuous transition for us. I was just starting to lose the baby weight, just joined Weight Watchers 3 days before. I was still breastfeeding, but one day, for no reason I bought a pregnancy test. I wasn't even sure why I was doing it. But something told me to pick up that test and put it in the cart at Target and move on.
Later that night I sat down and decided to take the test. Dan was working late so I safely took it in private. No need to frighten the man...I don't even know why I am taking the damn thing.
Whew...it's negative. Right? I look closer...is that another line? No... Is it? Well it must be a defect in the test. There was another little mark barely detectable. Good thing I bought a 2 pack. Took that test. Ah...negative for sure. Or is it? It must be the test. You really have to stare at it for a while to see the other line. I am paranoid.
I call my friend, Shana. She tells me to get another test. So I called my neighbor and she came down to sit with my kids at 11 at night so I could frantically run to the pharmacy for another test. I found one of those digital EPT test that actually say "Not Pregnant" or "Pregnant". I go home, run into the bathroom. Try to pee...try to pee.... I'm so nervous... OK. NOT PREGNANT.
With a sigh of relief, I send my neighbor home. Then I notice that I forgot to take the cap of the test and only a little urine got on the stick. Crap.
Over the next 4 days I took NINE other pregnancy test. Slowly but surely the lines got darker and darker. (If you want to know the best and the worst pregnancy tests out there, I am your gal). I learned alot that week. A great resource that I spent many an hour on is here.

K: Honey, I am pretty certain I am pregnant.

D: Do you think you can get your money back from Weight Watchers?


Trailady said...

HA HA- I can SOOOOO relate to this post. My hubby and I were very limited in birth control options and were fertile as bunnies in April.

I love your sense of humor, Kristen. Your posts are always very entertaining. Thank you! :o)

Trailady said...

PS. While I'm here, I sense that I have offended you in some way. I hope that you will read my current post. I've missed hearing from you. :o)

Gingers Mom said...

Hey TL - not at ALL! I actually just posted on there tonight. It's good to see you around here too!

Chana said...

what a funny post this is. well done, the babies and the post, :) ..

it is not always as it is in the movies eh? you know the man holding the wife's hand, crossing his fingers, hoping against hope that she will be pregnant...lol

i had 5. the best thing i have and will ever do but neither were my announcements or preganancies or labors anything near what in the tele or movies...even what i saw my sis go through...you know the dotting hubby and everyone holding their breath but it all works out in the end as i have the most 5 amazing treasures..so i didn't have the spoiling or enthusiasm from others but i got my joy many times fold with them as soon as i knew of them. like you i knew instantly when i had conceived. immediately, and i also knew what they be, boy, girl, boy, girl, girl...lol...

honey, in your comment you said so many things. let me tell you something. i am no better mom than you or your neighbor. i just love them. i can't do much i wish i could do for them. who doesn't get caught up in the world? it sucks you up and life has a way of not letting you go...we all know what that is like. you, sound like a passionate mom. what else can your children ask for? all they really need is the love from the bottom of our toes...

don't be so hard on yourself. we are all work in progress. all of us. if not we be the perfect beings in heaven already.

take care.

Trailady said...

I agree with Chana. Last year, I went through a VERY painful experience. One so rough, that I only vaguely mentioned it in my blog because it was SO incredibly humiliating.

Due to a variety of circumstances and misconceptions, my children's teacher had a little gossip chain going behind my back that I was a child neglector and she threatened to report me. She and her friend entered my house while my family was away one weekend. (illegal) My house was cluttered, there were piles of laundry in my laundry room and little food in the pantry. Nevermind that my man had been gone all week and we were planning to shop when he got back. Nevermind that the washing machine/dryer were over 20 years old and as slow as could be. The heating element had died, so the dryer basically just air-fluffed for hours. DUH- of course the laundry is going to pile up for a family of 6! Anyway, after their little spy mission, these two ladies then felt somewhat justified in their suspicions. This all came to light and they never did report me, but the very thought that they suspected me of child neglect REALLY hurt!!
I doubted myself, my values, my ability to parent. I cried for a week!! Then I went and confronted both of these ladies. I stood up to them. Ethically, mind you. Had to pray a LOT though, because my first instinct was to back-hand them both. Things blew over and when I run into these ladies I don't hate them.
My point? Believe in yourself as a Mom. You are doing GREAT!!

Crazedmomof4 said...

Wow! I can totally relate with TL comment. Plus house work is never done with kids. I know mine's never done! You have 3 small ones & that is so overwhelming. It's amazing if you get anything done, but what's even worse is when someone who doesn't have a lot of kids says things like, I don't know how you do it, because then I feel like I'm being judged for not doing something! But I'm always over paranoid!

Sounds like you get a lot more done then I do & I don't have the excuse of 3 little ones anymore. My youngest will be 5 soon. So they don't have me tied down like they use too! You know what I mean because you're doing it now!You sound like a great Mom & I'm sure you are & you are doing a great job! I love reading your stories!

This story was LOL! & I wanted to ask if you did get your money back from WW? ;)

Gingers Mom said...

Ladies, you are incredible. Thank you. I do need to give myself some grace and go easier on myself in many ways. But there is surely room for improvement. I completely use the TV as a babysitter so I can self indulge and can't be doing that. I'm just trying to change things.

As for weight watchers - I sure did. All I had to do was tell them I was prego and they gave me the money right back.

Gingers Mom said...

Ok, what is with Blogger being an ass lately and not letting me post pics?

Mike, Nicki, and Josh said...

Blogger does that sometimes.....sucky. I go back and fourth on wanting another one. I totally remember that week regarding #3. I totally didn't believe it at first. I thought it was one of those things like, "It can't happen to her, it's impossible" sort of what I thought when the doc told me I was preggers. Learned that we should always trust our gut in this situation. Great post Brava!

Gingers Mom said...

Ah Nicki, you are such a great mom. You should totally have another one. You are in the throws of toddlerhood...it will pass and you'll find yourself aching for another baby. But only you know what you are capable of and what will make you happiest.

Catch said...

Kristin that was such a cute story. I enjoyed every minute of it....thank you for sharing it with us!!!!

Gingers Mom said...

THanks Catch...my family is always making fun of me because we are so "fertile". They have bets that I will be pregnant again before Christmas. I'm betting Dan gets his vasectomy first!

Better Life said...

I am sure you are a pretty nicer family of 5 now.unless the 6th person is being processed while I am typing this comment.and by the way if you write a book or a novel I am sure it well be a best selling one.

Health For All

Ms.L said...

Hee hee hee hee hee
What a great post!

Why is it always the men who are reluctant at first to have kids?
Dur reacted better to a surprise baby when we were young,unmarried and jobless better than he did when I wanted number two,married,settled with jobs,lol
We're the ones who have to carry them,gee whiz!
He's like your hubby though,pretty easy going once the idea sinks in:)

Mommy off the Record said...

Oh, I loved this post! It was fun reading about each time you found out you were pregnant.

Actually, reading this post got my ovaries aching too! I guess it's time to have that talk with my husband...

Mimi said...


I loved this one. The 3rd one is amazing! No signs or symptoms you just bought the test! WOW!

We were trying. But when Durk saw it was positive his reaction was "HOLY SHIT"!

Carolyn said...

Hahahah, what a great story.

With my first child, the tests kept coming up negative.

Sometimes we know before the tests do.

Mike, Nicki, and Josh said...

Thanks for the complement. We may have another one when we are on the way home. For now it's nice to travel around Japan with just one. I love taking in other babes if a mommy friend needs a date. I get my fix that way for now! You're super though. I wish I could meet little brown one! They seem to just grow in a flash!

QueenieCarly said...

That's a fantastic post, Kristin! Thanks for sharing. Each and every one of those stories is a great one. And I love the "I guess we don't need to try" bit. It must be a laugh a minute in your house!