My day yesterday went as follows:
Kids being kids all day long, so I was tired by the time Dan got home. Wednesday is grocery shopping day when hubby stays with the rugrats while I go to the store. Sometimes it is the only away time I get all week so sadly I look forward to grocery day. Dan came home and was a zombie from long days at work. It pissed me off. He didn't say a word to me through dinner....oh but that is not entirely true. Let's discuss dinner. I found a new recipe that I was excited to make. Ham steaks with mustard cream spaetzel. Mmmmm... It was suppose to be super easy, but somehow of course I was able to turn it into a fiasco! Let's just say I ended up with dough from the spaetzel from head to toe...literally. How is this possible one might wonder, that a grown adult can manage such a feat all on her own? That is a good question. It was everywhere - the floor, the counters, the sink, my entire body, the oven. You are supposed to take the dough and press it through a colander, which I did, but was a completely cruel joke. There aren't enough holes in mine. Then I had a brilliant idea. Let's use the baby's food mill. It has lots of little holes that you press food through to make soft noodle shapes. Disaster...too many holes. At this point I have dough all the way up to my elbows...it is damn sticky stuff! Good thing I made a double batch. I resorted to just dropping the dough into the boiling water to cook piece by piece.
Finally dinner was ready and I was so excited to try it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE spaetzel. I served hubby and the kids and quickly scarfed up my meal. No one else is eating. Dan is poking at his plate and scowling. The kids are screaming.
Red: I don't like it! It's yucky! It's making me sick!
Stinky: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO! NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!
Dan: Uh...no. I don't like it.
That pretty much sums up our entire dinner conversation.
I was so irritated and tired by then that I decided screw the grocery store. I'm gonna stay home tonight and take a bath. I was so pissy at Dan I told him to go take a nap and leave us all alone. Then I was mad that he went. (of course he can do no right)
As I am cleaning up dinner I look outside to see that my kids are now an interesting shade of brown. They are COVERED in mud and dirt. I mean covered. ARG! I holler at them to come in and go straight for the bath. I turned on the water and told them to get undressed and get in. As I return from getting towels I see that Stinky has hopped directly into the bath fully dressed. Where is Dan? I want to choke him. Dripping muddy water everywhere, I extract Stinky from the tub to find he has also got a dirty diaper. Are you kidding me??
As I am sitting there in the muddy bathroom with my filthy kids is when I realize. I just started my period. I need a cocktail.