Yesterday my fun kid project was to take my boys to the zoo while the girl was in school. Had a great time, met my friend Jennifer there. We had some much needed mommytime and talked about our unsolvable problems while we guiltily munched on cookies and diet coke. We did take time to ponder - do they cancel eachother out?
The freaks were out and possibly having a parade yesterday. As I was waiting outside the gate for Jen, there was this weird man staring at me from across the courtyard. He looked eerily like my FIL and I had the distinct feeling he was checking to see if I was interested. Even though I had 2 babies with me and he was clearly almost 70. Ick.
When Jen arrived with baby Nate in tow, we decided to go see the Orangutans first. I love them. Especially the male one, Clyde. He shows up on most of the posters and stuff to advertise for the zoo when he isn't overshadowed by our beloved pandas. We love that guy around here. Anyway, there was a gaggle of old men hanging around over there. Probably retired and kicked out of the house for the day by their frustrated wives.
One guy walks up to us and starts talking to Stinky. My chest puffed out with pride as Stinky scrunched his face up and growled for the man to go away. Proud mama moment. He hates strangers as much as I do. The man seems unphased and continues to talk and walk with us away from the exhibit. He actually asked Jen, who is only a couple years older than me if she was the grandma. WTF??? So we just kicked him in the shins and ran away. Ok, not really, but I thought about it.
Relieved that we finally escaped that guy, the creepy FIL guy was back. He walked over and started walking really close along with us, staring at my baby. I wanted to scream. I was sure he was going to grab me and try to make me his love slave. I'm gonna have nightmares about him for weeks. He said something bizarre like, "Is that a baby?" I just mumbled, "Yup" and we picked up the pace and out walked him. Whew. Another close call.
I think I would have been happier if they had locked up all the creepy old men and I could walk around the zoo with the gorillas.
Refined Young Ladies & Gentlemen
1 week ago