Monday, January 30, 2006
I used to be cool...no seriously
I feel stupid - as if my intelligence is actually leaking out of me as I breathe. I'm sure I am no different than any other mother. There was a time that I would go to a party - looking thin and fabulous - and actually have something to say. Or at the very least, I would have a clue as to what other people are talking about. I could tell you anything you want to know about pregnancy, breastfeeding, poop, sick children and discipline techniques (whether or not I am good at it). There is a limit to how many people want to hear about those things though. The last party I went to, I noticed that all us mothers just clumped together glad to find other people who were just as uninteresting as we are.
It is a rare event that I go out of the house with a clean t-shirt - even if I just put one on. I'm just not "together" anymore and some days that drives me nuts. I love my kids more than anything, but sometimes it would be nice to walk out of the house without peanut butter in my hair.
Frankly, I don't watch the news. I learned that not to do that when my husband was deployed - there are just some things I can't handle hearing about. I'm behind on all the politics, although I know what I believe in. At this stage in my life, I don't have time for hobbies, and not enough energy for reading anything substantial.
I'm completely forgetful and am surprised I haven't left my kids anywhere yet. I would not change a thing if I could about my life. Lots of women crave the life I have, to be able to be a stay at home mom. It is a great life and I am proud to live it. But sometimes I just wish I could be out there with the world, being interesting again.
At least Vince and Savannah think I am interesting. If not cool.